Reborn in Sweden

Friday, August 04, 2006

Last Post

I'm finally back in the Little Red Dot. In fact, I've been back for exactly a week now. Goodness, I really miss the carefree life I had in Sweden...

It was tough leaving a place that gave me so much during the six months I was there. The taxi ride to the airport was one of silence, remembering the good times I had, and trying to capture as many mental images of the wonderful country in my head as possible.

I learnt and did a lot in Sweden - many things that I wouldn't have the chance to learn or do in Singapore. For one, professionally, this was a great experience. The fabrication methods, and the various characterisation methods will be skills worth having, even though the people here have decided not to buy the equipment anymore. And to have a first hand view of how EU works, how universities in Europe cooperate so much in their research, and how each is so specialised in his field is mind boggling. Specialisation in the Little Red Dot is virtually unheard of, even in the research arena. Everyone has to know everything. Ever heard of the phrase 'Jack of all trades, master of none'? It describes the sad situation we have here.

Socially, I met many new people. People I can call friends now. Friends I hope to keep with me for the rest of my life. Over the course of my short life so far, I managed to make many friends, but over time, after going to different schools and differing interests, I lost contact with a good number. I do not want to lose touch with this extremely special bunch of people I call friends.

Personally, I did many things I would never have the chance to do in Singapore. Busking without a license? Perish the thought. But that's what I did in Uppsala. I was out in the streets near the centre of the town, playing my flute with another friend. It was amazing. A one in a lifetime experience for me.

Nudity? One has to be comfortable with one's body if one is forced to get into a sauna with strangers wearing totally nothing. There was absolutely no room to be prudish, or shy. But it was nonetheless a good experience. Something that I would not trade even for a million dollars.

Living in commune with nature? Dipping in a frozen lake? Pushing a car out of a snow pile? Walking on the frozen lake? Having Mass on the frozen lake? Moose hunting? Long treks in the forest? I did all that in Marieudd.

A dip the Europe's largest freshwater lake (Lake Vanern)? Slipped on the rocks by the lake? Picnic lunch by the lake? I did all that in Karlstad and Hammaro.

Overall, I dare say I've become a little more open, and less shy compared to the time I left Singapore. I had to do just that, being alone and all. But it was good for me. I would never had made so many friends in the Catholic Students' Group, the Sunday fikas after English Mass, and the International Bible Study Group at Pingstkyrkan.

I was really well rewarded for my six months in Uppsala - professionally, socially, and personally. I'm really thankful for the chance to have had been there.

Out of Stockholm Arlanda Airport and towards Singapore's Changi Airport, stopping at Charles de Gaulle in Paris first... The entire flight was safe but marred with turbulent skies almost half of the entire journey. Even then, I managed to sleep through most of the way from Paris to Singapore.

The first sign I saw of Singapore was the artifical coastline of Tuas from the plane. That was when reality hit me. I'm finally home. Seeing the familar coastline, the many many ships in the harbour and the waters in the south of the island, the skyline... Home.. While Sweden was still in my mind, I couldn't help but feel a real sense of belonging.

Who would have expected that the first major event in Singapore on my return was to report back to the army camp for a chemical defense training course? But that was what I did. Exposed to gas, my skin burned, my eyes teared. But it was due to that that reinforced how effective the protective equipment were. Good experience, but man, I hated being in an army camp.

I'm now back at work, and am preparing for a very important presentation next Friday, 11 August. The one presentation that will determine if I can continue with my studies... Please say a little prayer for me... I'll update my original blog on the outcome.

This officially marks the end of my life in Sweden. I hope that there'll be more to come. But one can only hope. All future posts will be in Outward Expressions of Inward Thoughts.

For now, I have to say...

Reborn, Out.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Penultimate Day

This was my penultimate day in Sweden... I can't bear to leave this place, yet I can't wait to leave either. The complex plethora of feeling I'm feeling after six eventful months simply cannot be put into words.

I must have walked at least 30 kilometres today, from the apartment to Flogsta, down to St. Johannesgatan (to send Maru off), then to Gamla Uppsala, back to town, to Angstrom, and finally back to town again. I just wanted to visit all the places that will forever be etched in the deep recesses of my memories and remember all the good times I had with so many people during this stay in Sweden.

Goodbyes are difficult when you know you will not be seeing them again anytime soon. The parish in Uppsala has welcomed me into the fold, I got to know so many wonderful persons. The priests and nuns, and the laity; their love and openness have truly shown me the wonders God can do. I remember when I first came, I felt so lonely, so homesick. It all boils down to me not knowing anyone. But over time (two weeks maybe), I slowly (but surely) met and made friends, one at a time. Now that most of them have left for home and/or are away on a summer holiday, I thought I would feel lonely. Not true. The memories of my time with them have kept me from feeling lonely. Memories are such wonderous things...

This is my last night in Uppsala. My room has been cleaned, my bags packed. I went down to my favourite and meaningful places one last time. I went to the Gustavianum Museum one more time. I had a full, tiring, but really fulfiling day. I'm going to miss this place. Just one more night...